What’s Love Got to Do with It?

Posted on April 29th, 2010 by Darcy

Are you buying your first home?  How has your experience been so far — with the realtor, loan officer, even the listing side?  What have you heard about the home buying process?  Is there just one house out there for you or could there be more?  Good questions to ask yourself as you go through this unknown and possibly long process.

I can tell you that everyone’s experience is different.  That’s just the nature of the beast.  But, because this is such a personal decision, you really want to  make sure you’re working with people you can trust and actually like.  I know this may sound silly.  I have known people to buy big ticket items, including houses and not like who they worked with.  Gosh, I hate to say it, but I fell into this category once. 

About 9 years ago, I went to buy/lease a car at Lexus.  Now, I drive a mini-van — nature of the “mom” beast!!  Anyway, we only have 2 options in the MN area for Lexus — I chose the closest one to test-drive on December 31st for their “December to Remember” event– so I was under the gun to BUY before January 2nd.  I test drove a car with a salesperson who I am happy to say is no longer there.  I found the car I really wanted, but needed to negotiate the buyout of my other car — I got an estimate from them, lower than what I KNEW I could get.  I was determined I was going to buy a car THAT DAY, so I brought my husband for his seal of approval.  I had the price of the new vehicle just where I wanted it — now for my trade.  A heated discussion ensued between my husband and the used car sales manager about HOW they determined the price — Kelly or NADA.  Oh, what a night of poor behavior on both parties, even me for not standing up to the rude behavior.  To end it all, the salesperson yelled us out the door saying he never wanted to see him in the dealership again — real professional!

My husband was walking … but I wanted the car.  Being a person of great determination and getting my way, I actually went back to the dealership on January 2 and bought the car.  Yes, I bought the car.  I was blinded by my desire to have THAT car, that it didn’t matter how they treated my husband or us.  Looking back, I am ashamed I let something cloud my judgment and my ethical standards.  To this day, that whole deal frustrates me.  I know how people in sales and the service industry should behave.  Though the customer isn’t always right, they deserve to be treated with decency, care and the utmost respect.  We were NOT respected and I still went through with the deal.

Okay, so where am I going with this?  A car purchase is NOTHING in relation to purchasing a home — a VERY big financial decision.  It makes ALL the difference in the world to not only like who you work with, but who you trust.  As first time home buyers, many Realtors and loan officers don’t “have the time of day” to help you.  Maybe your price point is too low or your knowledge is less than a previous home-owner that they don’t want to INVEST in something that may not reap financial rewards.  I know loan officers AND Realtors that have this mindset.  I do NOT do business with those Realtors.  I want someone who shares my similar values and philosophy — doesn’t matter what price, loan amount or what type of knowledge you have.  It is my responsibility to serve you, to educate you and make sure you are comfortable with the process — a process that can be scary and can be blinding by the new “shiny” house.

So what does love have to do with it?  EVERYTHING!  You don’t have to “love” the people you work with, but you definitely have to enjoy and trust them.  Another point of all this — I bought a car from someone who didn’t care about me, who treated me and my husband with disrespect.  A car … how many of those cars are out there?  I had options.  I did NOT have to buy from them.  With houses, this is the same.  You may fall in love with a home that is perfect for you and your family.  It just may be, but what you need to understand is there are other homes out there.  This isn’t the ONLY home that meets your needs.  The Realtor your working with isn’t the only Realtor out there that can help you.  I am aligned with so many AWESOME agents that really do their job for you.  That’s why we’re here.  Sure, we make money and sometimes not enough to cover the time invested.  BUT, it’s not always about the money — it’s about providing a service with our expertise and show you that we care, that we love what we do and we would like you to love the experience.

There you have it.  So, if you’re in a ”bad relationship” with your Realtor or loan officer, don’t give in.  Don’t think that you can’t do any better, that you have to settle.  I’ve done that and it feels horrible.  Nine years later I remember that experience like it was yesterday.  Just think if I was LIVING in that house that someone sold me that wasn’t my best fit or the payment was really out of my range?  Now how do you think I’d feel?  LOVE the characteristics, knowledge, personality and personality of the people you invest your time with to spend the most money you have ever spent before!

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One Response to “What’s Love Got to Do with It?”

  1. Darcy- anyone would LOVE to work with you. And you’re right- not all agents, not all professionals in the industry have the desire or patience to work with especially first time home buyers. It’s good to point that fact out and hope buyers will align themselves with agents, mortgage bankers, etc. that will take care of them and walk them thru the process- plus- you have such a great knowledge of the downpayment assistance and other first time home buyer programs- why would they work with anyone else!? PS- The minivan suits you.

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